Wendy Strgar
Wendy Strgar is the founder and CEO of Good Clean Love. She is a
relationship expert and the author of Love That Works (Love Words,
2009) who for the past 12 years has written on the topics of love,
sexual health, and positivity. She lives in Eugene, Oregon. For
more, visit makinglovesustainable.com.
"SEX THAT WORKS is thoughtful, well written...Strgar's premise is
that many of us spend our lives self-medicating -- with drugs,
drink, food, shopping -- to escape our true selves. Yet if we want
to experience real pleasure, we also need to be willing to feel
pain. Not, like, "Fifty Shades of Grey" pain, though that kind is
discussed. Rather, the kind of discomfort that comes from being
honest with others, and with ourselves. Sounds simple, but anyone
who has been faking pleasure for years knows that it's not.
According to Strgar, the rate of anorgasmic women is three times
higher in the United States than in Europe, which she attributes to
our culture of denial and I attribute to fantasy football. Strgar
makes very good points about how we confuse sexual freedom with
sexual license, resulting in a hookup culture that has us faking
orgasms like porn stars. Authentic sexual freedom, she writes,
means 'taking responsibility for our own sexual needs.' The book
shows us how to do just that. She talks about how to achieve a
state of mental abandonment, how to appreciate small sensual
moments, how to love without always worrying every second about
being loved back -- and how asking for sexual satisfaction even
requires a certain level of courage. Along the way, Strgar, now in
her 50s, explains how she brought her own sex life with her husband
of more than 30 years back from the brink of ruin. She argues
persuasively that sexual pleasure, however you define it, is not a
luxury but a necessity. I might add that the love oils she sells on
her site smell really good." --The New York Times Book Review "As a
couples therapist who regularly works with clients on issues
related to attachment and emotional regulation, I welcome
loveologist Wendy Strgar's new book, Sex That Works, with its
abundance of tools for individuals and couples seeking to improve
their emotional and sexual lives. The themes around which the book
is organized--freedom, pleasure, courage, curiosity, sensation,
attention, and more--are foundation not only to a satisfying sex
life but also to a mutually respectful and secure-functioning
relationship." --Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, author of Wired for Love
and Wired for Dating; founder of the PACT Institute "Wendy Strgar's
new book, Sex That Works: An Intimate Guide to Awakening Your
Erotic Life, has captured the struggle: deep within our erotic
selves, we all have a desire to be free to pursue sexual pleasure.
Using her own life and the stories of couples just like us, it is
clear that she knows this world; she has lived it, she is an expert
in true intimacy. She helps us to express our fantasies through fun
and easy to understand exercises. Strgar shows us how to find the
courage to ask for what we want, and reassures us that there is no
such thing as 'normal.' Buy this book today, and while you're at
it, order her love oils too. They are fabulous." --Tammy Nelson,
PhD, Board Certified Sexologist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist,
author of Getting the Sex You Want and The New Monogamy "Erotic
bliss is everyone's birthright. The teachings in this book point
the way to emotional healing, empowered authenticity, and passion
beyond your wildest expectations." --Gay Hendricks, PhD, author of
the bestselling books Conscious Loving, The Big Leap, and Five
Wishes "As a wholistic sexuality teacher, I resonate deeply with
loveologist Wendy Strgar's book, Sex That Works. Her wise words
offer an insightful and encompassing deep dive into the real sexual
arts: connection, feelings, intimacy, communication and pleasure.
Now at the top of my 'must-read' list, this book is for anyone who
wants to transform their sex lives into a celebration of freedom.
You can learn to delight in deeply embodied pleasure and Sex That
Works will lovingly guide you on your way!" --Sheri Winston,
award-winning author of Women's Anatomy of Arousal and Succulent
SexCraft, director of the Intimate Arts Center "Part memoir, part
meditation, Wendy Strgar's new book is all sex and all passion.
Pick a page, any page, of Sex That Works, and you'll be sure to
find a pearl of sexual wisdom." --Ian Kerner, PhD LMFT, sex
therapist and author of She Comes First "Sex is shrouded in so much
mystery and secrecy and considered so personal that it's a wonder
that we can ever have an honest conversation about it. Sex That
Works provides a remedy for this. Wendy Strgar speaks openly and
frankly about what sex is and how we can attain not only its simple
physical pleasures but also a deep understanding of our complex
individual sexual 'truth' in all its manifestations through our
fantasies and desires.
Through well-chosen real-life stories and practical exercises,
Strgar demystifies questions and myths that many of have about sex
and teaches us how to allow vulnerability, honor sexual freedom and
responsibility, and ultimately attain the sexual courage that leads
to authentic and fulfilling sexual relationships.
This is a book that everyone should read. Its lesson would well
serve our children and generations that follow in transforming our
moralistic yet sex-obsessed society to one that appreciates the
deeper meaning and value of sex." --Stanley Siegel, LCSW, author of
Your Brain on Sex "Sex That Works is about far more than sex. It's
an invitation to connect with your feelings, explore your
sexuality, and heal the broken areas that hold us all back from
sexual intimacy and connection. Highly recommended reading!"
--Debby Herbenick, PhD, associate professor at Indiana University
and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual
Pleasure and Satisfaction "Simply put, I love this book! Wendy
Strgar invites us to stop repressing ourselves, our senses, our
fantasies, our possibilities. From understanding where we are on
the Sexuality Identity Grid, to awakening our senses as doorways to
arousal, Wendy opens portals to possibilities previously
unimagined. She teaches many new steps in the dance of our erotic
and sensual lives and illuminates areas to explore to better
understand and embrace ourselves, our intimate partners, and to
mine the gold of our potential. Let this book awaken you on every
level and it will widen your heart, your mind, your erotic soul and
your life." --Barbara Musser, author of Sexy After Cancer "Wendy
Strgar is a genuine pioneer in the important and emerging field of
human sexuality; in her new book she lifts the cultural taboos on
the experience of pleasure and the erotic self out of the shadows
and into the light. In Sex That Works: An Intimate Guide to
Awakening Your Erotic Life, Strgar calls for the eradication of
long standing cultural and personal shame and she stresses the
importance of learning how to feel and thereby experience emotional
healing and freedom. Strgar quite literally provides a brilliant
road map out of secrecy and into sexual freedom. As Strgar argues,
we live in a time where many still experience sexual abuse,
repression and confusion. There can be no better time than now for
this book to enter our discourse. In Sex That Works, Strgar takes
us to the next level and provides a clear and much needed road map
to once and for all bury our collective shame and embrace the
freedom that lives in our erotic selves." --Susan Tate, Eugene
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