The Art of SeductionAcknowledgments
Preface
Part One: The Seductive Character
The Siren
A man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play - by
always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The
Siren is the ultimate male fantasy figure because she offers a
total release from the limitations of his life. In her presence,
which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels
transported to a realm of pure pleasure. In a world where women are
often too timid to project such an image, learn to take control of
the male libido by embodying his fantasy.
The Rake
A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants
attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive. The
Rake is a great female fantasy-figure - when he desires a woman,
brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the
earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest, and amoral, but that
only adds to his appeal. Stir a woman's repressed longing by
adapting the Rake's mix of danger and pleasure.
The Ideal Lover
Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn
down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events,
reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers
thrive on people's broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies.
You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communioin? The
Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist in
creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and
baseness, there is limitless seductive power in following the path
of the Ideal Lover.
The Dandy
Most of us feel trapped within the limited role that the world
expects us to play. We are instantly attracted to those who are
more fluid than we are - those who create their own persona.
Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a
freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and
femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always
startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous,
alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.
The Natural
Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or
unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the
longed-for qualities of childhood - spontaneity, sincerity,
unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease,
caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden
age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's
defensivenss and infect them with helpless delight.
The Coquette
The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seducction
- while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the
grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement
between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward
- the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association,
power - all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes
their targets pursue them the more. Imitate the alternating heat
and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your
heels.
The Charmer
Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate
manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of
pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple: They deflect
attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They
understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the
presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast
the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses:
vanity and self-esteem.
The Charismatic
Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner
quality - self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose,
contentment - that most people lack and want. This quality radiates
outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem
extraordinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma
with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the
charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining
detached.
The Star
Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it
in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out
from others through a distinctive and appealing style, they make us
want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal,
keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there.
Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become
an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive
presence of the Star.
The Anti-Seducer
Seducers draw you in by the focused, individualized attention they
pay to you. Anti-seducers are the opposite: insecure,
self-absorbed, and unable to grasp the psychology of another
person, they literally repel. Anti-Seducers have no self-awareness,
and never realize when they are pestering, imposing, talking too
much. Root out anti-seductive qualities in yourself, and recognize
them in others - there is no pleasure or profit in dealing with the
Anti-Seducer.
The Seducer's Victims - The Eighteen Types
Part Two: The Seductive Process
PHASE ONE: SEPARATION - STIRRING INTEREST AND DESIRE
1. Choose the Right Victim
Everything depends on the target of your seduction. Study your prey
throughly, and choose only those who will prove susceptible to your
charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void,
who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or
unhappy, or can easily be made so - for the completely contented
person is almost impossible to seduce. The perfect victim has some
quality that inspires strong emotions in you, making your seductive
manuevers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows
for the perfect chase.
2. Create a False Sense of Security - Approach
Indirectly
If you are too direct early on, you risk stirring up a resistance
that will never be lowered. At first there must be nothing of the
seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle,
indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you.
Haunt the periphery of your target's life - approach through a
third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral
relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Lull the
target into feeling secure, then strike.
3. Send Mixed Signals
Once people are aware of your presence, and perhaps vaguely
intrigued, you need to stir their interest before it settles on
someone else. Most of us are much too obvious - instead, be hard to
figure out. Send mixed signals: both tough and tender, both
spiritual and earthly, both innocent and cunning. A mix of
qualities suggests depth, which fascinates even as it confuses. An
elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing
them into your circle. Create such a power by hinting at something
contraditory within you.
4. Appear to Be an Object of Desire - Create
Triangles
Few are drawn to the person whom others avoid or neglect; people
gather around those who have already attracted interest. To draw
your victims closer and make them hungry to possess you, you must
create an aura of desirability - of being wanted and courted by
many. It will become a point of vanity for them to be the preferred
object of your attention, to win you away from a crowd of admirers.
Build a reputation that precedes you: If many have succumbed to
your charms, there must be a reason.
5. Create a Need - Stir Anxiety and Discontent
A perfectly satisfied person cannot be seduced. Tension and
disharmony must be instilled in your targets' minds. Stir within
them feelings of discontent, an unhappiness with their
circumstances and with themselves. The feelings of inadequacy that
you create will give you space to insinuate yourself, to make them
see you as the answer to their problems. Pain and anxiety are the
proper precursors to pleasure. Learn to manufacture the need that
you can fill.
6. Master the Art of Insinuation
Making your targets feel dissatisfied and in need of your attention
is essential, but if you are too obvious, they will see through you
and grow defensive. There is no known defense, however, against
insinuation - the art of planting ideas in people's minds by
dropping elusive hints that take root days later, even appearing to
them as their own idea. Create a sublanguage - bold statements
followed by retraction and apology, ambiguous comments, banal talk
combined with alluring glances - that enters the target's
unconscious to convey your real meaning. Make everything
suggestive.
7. Enter Their Spirit
Most people are locked in their own worlds, making them stubborn
and hard to persuade. The way to lure them out of their shell and
set up your seduction is to enter their spirit. Play by their
rules, enjoy what they enjoy, adapt yourself to their moods. In
doing so you will stroke their deep-rooted narcissism and lower
their defenses. Indulge your targets' every mood and whim, giving
them nothing to react against or resist.8. Create
Temptation
Lure the target deep into your seduction by creating the proper
temptation: a glimpse of the pleasures to come. As the serpent
tempted Eve with the promise of forbidden knowledge, you must
awaken a desire in your targets that they cannot control. Find that
weakness of theirs, that fantasy that has yet to be realized, and
hint that you can lead them toward it. The key is to keep it vague.
Stimulate a curiosity stronger than the doubts and anxieties that
go with it, and they will follow you.PHASE TWO: LEAD ASTRAY -
CREATING PLEASURE AND CONFUSION
9. Keep Them in Suspense - What Comes Next?
The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your
spell on them is broken. More: You have ceded them power. The only
way to lead the seduced along and keep the upper hand is to create
suspense, a calculated surprise. Doing something they do not expect
from you will give them a delightful sense of spontaneity - they
will not be able to foresee what comes next. You are always one
step ahead and in control. Give the victim a thrill with a sudden
change of direction.10. Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow
Confusion
It is hard to make people listen; they are consumed with their own
thoughts and desires, and have little time for yours. The trick to
making them listen is to say what they want to hear, to fill their
ears with whatever is pleasant to them. This is the essence of
seductive language. Inflame people's emotions with loaded phrses,
flatter them, comfort their insecurities, envelop them in sweet
words and promises, and not only will they listen to you, they will
lose their will to resist you.11. Pay Attention to
Detail
Lofty words of love and grand gestures can be suspicious: Why are
you trying so hard to please? The details of a seduction - the
subtle gestures, the offhand things you do - are often more
charming and revealing. You must learn to distract your victims
with a myriad of pleasant little rituals - thoughtful gifts
tailored just for them, clothes and adornments designed to please
them, gestures that show the time and attention you are paying
them. Mesmerized by what they see, they will not notice what you
are really up to.12. Poeticize Your Presence
Important things happen when your targets are alone: The slightest
feeling of relief that you are not there, and it is all over.
Familiarity and overexposure will cause this reaction. Remain
elusive, then. Intrigue your targets by alternating an exciting
presence with a cool distance, exuberant moments followed by
calculated absences. Associate yourself with poetic images and
objects, so that when they think of you, they begin to see you
through an idealized halo. The more you figure in their minds, the
more they will envelop you in seductive fantasies.13. Disarm
Through Strategic Weakness and Vulnerability
Too much manuevering on your part may raise suspicion. The best way
to cover your tracks is to make the other person feel superior and
stronger. If you seem to be weak, vulnerable, enthralled by the
other person, and unable to control yourself, you will make your
actions look more natural, less calculated. Physical weakness -
tears, bashfulness, paleness - will help create the effect. Play
the victim, then transform your target's sympathy into love.14.
Confuse Desire and Reality - The Perfect Illusion
To compensate for the difficulties in their lives, people spend a
lot of their time daydreaming, imagining a future full of
adventure, success, and romance. If you can create the illusion
that through you they can live out their dreams, you will have them
at your mercy. Aim at secret wishes that have been thwarted or
repressed, stirring up uncontrollable emotions, clouding their
powers of reason. Lead the seduced to a point of confusion in which
they can no longer tell the difference between illusion and
reality.15. Isolate the Victim
An isolated person is weak. By slowly isolating your victims, you
make them more vulnerable to your influence. Take them away from
their normal milieu, friends, family, home. Give them the sense of
being marginalized, in limbo - they are leaving one world behind
and entering another. Once isolated like this, they have no outside
support, and in their confusion they are easily led astray. Lure
the seduced into your lair, where nothing is familiar.PHASE
THREE: THE PRECIPICE - DEEPENING THE EFFECT THROUGH EXTREME
MEASURES
16. Prove Yourself
Most people want to be seduced. If they resist your efforts, it is
probably because you have not gone far enough to allay their doubts
- about your motives, the depth of your feelings, and so on. One
well-timed action that shows how far you are willing to go to win
them over will dispel their doubts. Do not worry about looking
foolish or making a mistake - any kind of deed that is
self-sacrificing and for your targets' sake will so overwhelm their
emotions, they won't notice anything else.17. Effect a
Regression
People who have experienced a certain kind of pleasure in the past
will try to repeat or relive it. The deepest-rooted and most
pleasurable memories are usually those from earliest childhood, and
are often unconsciously associated with a parental figure. Bring
your targets back to that point by placing yourself in the oedipal
triangle and positioning them as the needy child. Unaware of the
cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with
you.18. Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo
There are alway social limits on what one can do. Some of these,
the most elemental taboos, go back centuries; others are more
superficial, simply defining polite and acceptable behavior. Making
your targets feel that you are leading them past either kind of
limit is immensely seductive. People yearn to explore their dark
side. Once the desire to transgress draws your targets to you, it
will be hard for them to stop. Take them farther than they imagined
- the shared feeling of guilt and complicity will create a powerful
bond.19. Use Spiritual Lures
Everyone has doubts and insecurities - about their body, their
self-worth, their sexuality. If your seduction appeals exclusively
to the physical, you will stir up these doubts and make your
targets self-conscious. Instead, lure them out of their
insecurities by making them focus on something sublime and
spiritual: a religious experience, a lofty work of art, the occult.
Lost in a spiritual mist, the target will feel light and
uninhibited. Deepen the effect of your seduction by making its
sexual culmination seem like the spiritual union of two
souls.20. Mix Pleasure with Pain
The greatest mistake in seduction is being too nice. At first,
perhaps, your kindness is charming, but it soon grows monotonous;
you are trying too hard to please, and seem insecure. Instead of
overwhelming your targets with niceness, try inflicting some pain.
Make them feel guilty and insecure. Instigate a breakup - now a
rapprochement, a return to your earlier kindness, will turn them
weak at the knees. The lower the lows you create, the greater the
highs. To heighten the erotic charge, create the excitement of
fear.PHASE FOUR: MOVING IN FOR THE KILL
21. Give Them Space to Fall - The Pursuer Is Pursued
If your targets become too used to you as the aggressor, they will
give less of their own energy, and the tension will slacken. You
need to wake them up, turn the tables. Once they are under your
spell, take a step back and they will start to come after you. Hint
that you are growing bored. Seem interested in someone else. Soon
they will want to possess you physically, and restraint will go out
the window. Create the illusion that the seducer is being
seduced.22. Use Physical Lures
Targets with active minds are dangerous: If they see through your
manipulations, they may suddenly develop doubts. Put their minds
gently to rest, and waken their dormant senses, by combining a
nondefensive attitude with a charged sexual presence. While your
cool, nonchalant air is lowering their inhibitions, your glances,
voice, and bearing - oozing sex and desire - are getting under
their skin and raising their temperature. Never force the physical;
instead inflect your targets with heat, lure them into lust.
Morality, judgment, and concern for the future will all melt
away.23. Master the Art of the Bold Move
A moment has arrived: Your victim clearly desires you, but is not
ready to admit it openly, let alone act on it. This is the time to
throw aside chivalry, kindness and coquetry and to overwhelm with a
bold move. Don't give the victim time to consider the consequences.
Showing hesitation or awkwardness means you are thinking of
yourself, as opposed to being overwhelmed by the victim's charms.
One person must go on the offensive, and it is you.24. Beware
the Aftereffects
Danger follows in the aftermath of a successful seduction. After
emotions have reached a pitch, they often swing in the opposite
direction - toward lassitude, distrust, disappointment. If you are
to part, make the sacrifice swift and sudden. If you are to stay in
a relationship, beware a flagging of energy, a creeping familiarity
that will spoil the fantasy. A second seduction is required. Never
let the other person take you for granted - use absence, create
pain and conflict, to keep the seduced on tenterhooks.
Appendix A: Seductive Environment/Seductive Time
Appendix B: Soft Seduction: How to Sell Anything to the Masses
Selected Bibliography
Index
Robert Greene,the #1New York Timesbestselling author ofThe 48 Laws
of Power,The 33 Strategies of War,The Art of
Seduction,Mastery,andThe Laws of Human Nature,is an internationally
renowned expert on power strategies. He lives in Los Angeles.
Joost Elffers is the packaging genius behind Viking Studio's Secret
Language series, Play with Your Food, and How Are You Peeling? He
lives in New York City.
Priase for the work of Robert Greene: "Compelling."—Forbes
"Greene’s specialty is analyzing the lives and philosophies of
historical figures like Sun Tzu and Napoleon, and extracting from
them tips on how to manipulate people and situations—a cutthroat
worldview that has earned him a devoted following among a
like-minded readership of rappers, drug dealers and corporate
executives."—The New York Times
"Illuminating."—The Guardian
“Machiavelli has a new rival. And Sun Tzu had better watch his
back. Greene . . . has put together a checklist of ambitious
behavior. Just reading the table of contents is enough to stir a
little corner-office lust.”—New York magazine
“Beguiling . . . literate . . . fascinating. A wry primer for
people who desperately want to be on top.”—People magazine
“An heir to Machiavelli’s Prince . . . gentler souls will find this
book frightening, those whose moral compass is oriented solely to
power will have a perfect vade mecum.”—Publishers Weekly
Priase for the work of Robert Greene: "Compelling."-Forbes
"Greene's specialty is analyzing the lives and philosophies of
historical figures like Sun Tzu and Napoleon, and extracting from
them tips on how to manipulate people and situations-a cutthroat
worldview that has earned him a devoted following among a
like-minded readership of rappers, drug dealers and corporate
executives."-The New York Times
"Illuminating."-The Guardian
"Machiavelli has a new rival. And Sun Tzu had better watch his
back. Greene . . . has put together a checklist of ambitious
behavior. Just reading the table of contents is enough to stir a
little corner-office lust."-New York magazine
"Beguiling . . . literate . . . fascinating. A wry primer for
people who desperately want to be on top."-People magazine
"An heir to Machiavelli's Prince . . . gentler souls will find this
book frightening, those whose moral compass is oriented solely to
power will have a perfect vade mecum."-Publishers Weekly
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