Tess Ayers has worked in advertising and graphic design,
written for game shows, and was a producer on a number of
television talk shows. When she and her partner Jane Anderson
decided to have a wedding ceremony in 1992, they were unable to
find a proper guide for gays and lesbians, and this book was
conceived and born two years later. In the years since then Tess
has been busy raising their son, now 17, and works on the boards of
several not-for-profit organizations. Tess, Jane and Raphael
happily divide their time between Los Angeles and Marin County.
Paul Brown worked in theater (where he treasured every
moment), a bit in television (not so much), and had a stint in
"celebrity journalism" (seemed like a good idea at the time). For
more than fifteen years he taught Special Education in Los Angeles.
He met Tess Ayers several months before her wedding over three
decades ago (then called a "commitment ceremony"). When the
honeymoon was over, they collaborated on the first version of The
Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings. Paul was never married
himself, but he knew how to plan a wedding. He died in 2021.
[The authors] answer with eloquence and wit the arguments that many
gay activists have marshaled in opposition to gay and lesbians
codifying their relationships in the same ways that straights do. .
. . even the book's most serious advice is generously larded with
humor. . . . [Ayers and Brown] have left out none of the
trappings.--Charles Isherwood, The Advocate
[The book offers] hints on how to deal with family members (an
obstacle at many weddings but sometimes more so in same-sex
weddings) with humor, and shared experiences that will help any
couple put their wedding into perspective.--Tony Bravo, San
Francisco Chronicle
A beautifully conceived and illustrated book that tackles every
aspect of the wedding ceremony with humor and pride. . . .
Tongue-in-cheek hyperbole is the hallmark of this thorough and
witty guide, and traditional couples as well as gays will find its
lighthearted yet seriously knowledgeable tone refreshing. . . .
this book [is] as much a statement about gay life as it is a
nontraditional wedding planner.--Patricia Holt, San Francisco
Chronicle
A chatty, humorous compendium of traditions, advice, and wedding
details geared for same-sex couples.-- "Publishers Weekly"
All you need is love--and this book--to have a great
wedding.--Melissa Etheridge, musician and LGBT activist
Even the straight and single will get a kick out of this book! I
found myself having lesbian-marriage envy!--Kathy Najimy, actor and
writer
Everything you need to consider to plan the event of a
lifetime--except the man or woman of your dreams.--Eric Marcus,
author of Making History and Is It a Choice?
Now in its third edition, this guide offers 22 chapters of witty,
wise, and practical advice, covering everything from domestic
partnerships and the concept of marriage to how to cope (e.g.,
being gay in a straight world). . . . This indispensable book also
contains illustrations, inspiring photographs, and an extensive
list of web resources.-- "Library Journal"
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