CONTENTS
Preface to the Second Edition
Introduction
America the Extroverted
Introversion for All-or None
The Big Lie
Reviving Your Introversion
What's Inside
Introvert Voices
Part I: Antisocial, Weird, or Displaced?
Chapter 1: The Mistaken Identity
The Opposite of Social Is Not Antisocial
The Opposite of Social Is Not Introverted
We Are Not Snobs
Introversion Is Not a Diagnosis
The Abandonment of the Internal
We Are Introverts
Chapter 2: Alone Is Not a Four-Letter Word
The Culture of More
The Threat of Solitude
Introversion Interrupted
The Fear of Solitude
The Courage to Be Alone
Chapter 3: Becoming an Alien
Alien Society or Alien Self?
Shadow Dwellers: Goths, Geeks, and Fantasy Freaks
No Place to Hide: The Accessible Introvert
The Setup
The Third Option
Chapter 4: "Anyone Else IN?"
The Extroversion Assumption
Finding Introverts
A New Assumption
Where the (Inner) Action Is
My Space in Cyberspace
Chapter 5: The Get-Happier Mandate
Put on a Happy Face
Unhappy Pursuit
The Right to Pursue Answers
Happy to Fit In
The "S" Word
Inventing Depression, Prescribing Happiness
The Downside of Up
I'll Have What I'm Having
Part II: The Introvert's Wish List
Chapter 6: Meditating with the Majority:
The Introverted Society
Norden: Private and Proud
Japan: Manners over Mouth
Introvertia
Chapter 7: A Room of Your Own
Your Dream Room
From Dream to Real
Room Outside
Office Space
Chapter 8: The Time to Think
Time Poverty
The Ticking Bomb Model
From Deadline to Birth Time
Nature's Rhythm, Society's Rhythm
The Rhythm of Introversion
Chapter 9: The Right to Retreat
What Is a Retreat?
How Do I Know When to Go?
A Society in Search of Introversion
Overruling the Objections
Retreat Dreams
Mini-Retreats
Chapter 10: The Freedom of a Flaneur
The Artist's Eye
Among, Yet Alone
Flâneurie 101
Your Invisibility Cloak
Chapter 11: Inroads to Intimacy
Intimacy through Ideas
Sticking It Out
Going Deep
Part III: Standing Still in a Loud World
Chapter 12: The Conversation Conundrum
The Risk of Playing
Slowing It Down
Conversation Preparation
Music to Our Ears
Chapter 13: The Anti-Party Guide
"No" Is an Option
Pros and Cons
Establishing Your Terms
Introverting at the Party
Chapter 14: Why Did I Want to Work with People?
Doing Versus Thinking
What is Work?
A Culture of Interruption
Introvert Exploitation
Changing Your Mind
Idea Inc
Leading, Introvert-Style
Chapter 15: The Downside to Self-Containment
The Lonely Hearth
A Limited View
Self-Reproach
Stale Air
Loss of Community
Chapter 16: Showing Up for Relationships
The Problem of Family
Introversion and Intimacy
Loving Our Extroverts
Relationship Assessment
Part IV: Outing the Introvert
Chapter 17: From Apology to Acceptance-and Beyond
Apologies, Explanations, and Excuses
The Place for Apology
Introvert Integrity
Chapter 18: Celebrating Introversion
Life in the Dark
Introverts Are Cool
Wide Receivers
The Yin Celebration
Chapter 19: Expressing What's In There
Writing It Out
Beyond Words
Having the Stage
Introversion Diversions
Chapter 20: Moshing on Your Own Terms
Meeting Your Opposite
Learning from Our Extroverts
Organic Expansion
Extroverting for Energy
The Paradox of the Pit
Chapter 21: Introvert Power
Tribute to an Introvert
Meditating in Your Mosh Pit
Bibliography
Acknowledgments
About the Author
LAURIE HELGOE, Ph.D., is a psychologist specializing in personality. In addition to five books, she authored the Psychology Today cover story, "Revenge of the Introverts," was quoted in the The Wall Street Journal, and is a frequent invited speaker and radio and television guest. Helgoe is a Clinical Assistant Professor at the West Virginia University School of Medicine.
"It changed my life. No kidding. Dr. Helgoe's book opened the door
to discovery that has helped free me be myself." - Sophia Dembling,
author of The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy
World
"Like a modern-day Thoreau, psychologist Laurie Helgoe leads us to
a tranquil Walden Pond within our soul, and shows us the blessings
of solitude we can find there." - Stephen Bertman, author of The
Eight Pillars of Greek Wisdom
"I love Laurie Helgoe's book. I just wish I'd had it when I was
growing up; it would have reduced the number of decades it took me
to treasure my own introversion. Now as I read each page I'm saying
"Yes!"" - Josephine Humphreys, novelist and winner of the American
Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature
"Extroverts have to read this remarkable book too. It's not just
that we'll better understand the other 50 percent of the population
but that they have so much to teach us. The party always ends,
after all. Being alone is unavoidable. Helgoe and the introverts
among us know a secret: It's after all the music and dancing stops
that we often become our most graceful selves." - Ethan Watters,
author of Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of the American
Psyche
"Laurie Helgoe's Introvert Power is The Bhagavad Gita for
introverts....Laurie fans the embers of wisdom in each of us to
honor yearnings that serve as both compass and anchor. I'm now
giving myself permission to get a lock for my office door and
replace my reading chair with something that would delight my
younger self. I owe it to her." - Mary Hershey, author for children
& young adults, co-creater of Shrinking Violets, Marketing for
Introverts
""Most Americans, whether introverted or extroverted, have learned
to look like extroverts," writes psychologist (and introvert)
Heilgoe in this well-written and well-reasoned analysis that
challenges the perception of introverts as a silent, problematic
minority... Readers will find much insight, as well as a comforting
sense of being understood and validated." - Publishers Weekly,
STARRED review
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