Table of Contents

CONTENTS

Preface to the Second Edition

Introduction

America the Extroverted

Introversion for All-or None

The Big Lie

Reviving Your Introversion

What's Inside

Introvert Voices

Part I: Antisocial, Weird, or Displaced?

Chapter 1: The Mistaken Identity

The Opposite of Social Is Not Antisocial

The Opposite of Social Is Not Introverted

We Are Not Snobs

Introversion Is Not a Diagnosis

The Abandonment of the Internal

We Are Introverts

Chapter 2: Alone Is Not a Four-Letter Word

The Culture of More

The Threat of Solitude

Introversion Interrupted

The Fear of Solitude

The Courage to Be Alone

Chapter 3: Becoming an Alien

Alien Society or Alien Self?

Shadow Dwellers: Goths, Geeks, and Fantasy Freaks

No Place to Hide: The Accessible Introvert

The Setup

The Third Option

Chapter 4: "Anyone Else IN?"

The Extroversion Assumption

Finding Introverts

A New Assumption

Where the (Inner) Action Is

My Space in Cyberspace

Chapter 5: The Get-Happier Mandate

Put on a Happy Face

Unhappy Pursuit

The Right to Pursue Answers

Happy to Fit In

The "S" Word

Inventing Depression, Prescribing Happiness

The Downside of Up

I'll Have What I'm Having

Part II: The Introvert's Wish List

Chapter 6: Meditating with the Majority:
The Introverted Society

Norden: Private and Proud

Japan: Manners over Mouth

Introvertia

Chapter 7: A Room of Your Own

Your Dream Room

From Dream to Real

Room Outside

Office Space

Chapter 8: The Time to Think

Time Poverty

The Ticking Bomb Model

From Deadline to Birth Time

Nature's Rhythm, Society's Rhythm

The Rhythm of Introversion

Chapter 9: The Right to Retreat

What Is a Retreat?

How Do I Know When to Go?

A Society in Search of Introversion

Overruling the Objections

Retreat Dreams

Mini-Retreats

Chapter 10: The Freedom of a Flaneur

The Artist's Eye

Among, Yet Alone

Flâneurie 101

Your Invisibility Cloak

Chapter 11: Inroads to Intimacy

Intimacy through Ideas

Sticking It Out

Going Deep

Part III: Standing Still in a Loud World

Chapter 12: The Conversation Conundrum

The Risk of Playing

Slowing It Down

Conversation Preparation

Music to Our Ears

Chapter 13: The Anti-Party Guide

"No" Is an Option

Pros and Cons

Establishing Your Terms

Introverting at the Party

Chapter 14: Why Did I Want to Work with People?

Doing Versus Thinking

What is Work?

A Culture of Interruption

Introvert Exploitation

Changing Your Mind

Idea Inc

Leading, Introvert-Style

Chapter 15: The Downside to Self-Containment

The Lonely Hearth

A Limited View

Self-Reproach

Stale Air

Loss of Community

Chapter 16: Showing Up for Relationships

The Problem of Family

Introversion and Intimacy

Loving Our Extroverts

Relationship Assessment

Part IV: Outing the Introvert

Chapter 17: From Apology to Acceptance-and Beyond

Apologies, Explanations, and Excuses

The Place for Apology

Introvert Integrity

Chapter 18: Celebrating Introversion

Life in the Dark

Introverts Are Cool

Wide Receivers

The Yin Celebration

Chapter 19: Expressing What's In There

Writing It Out

Beyond Words

Having the Stage

Introversion Diversions

Chapter 20: Moshing on Your Own Terms

Meeting Your Opposite

Learning from Our Extroverts

Organic Expansion

Extroverting for Energy

The Paradox of the Pit

Chapter 21: Introvert Power

Tribute to an Introvert

Meditating in Your Mosh Pit

Bibliography

Acknowledgments

About the Author

About the Author

LAURIE HELGOE, Ph.D., is a psychologist specializing in personality. In addition to five books, she authored the Psychology Today cover story, "Revenge of the Introverts," was quoted in the The Wall Street Journal, and is a frequent invited speaker and radio and television guest. Helgoe is a Clinical Assistant Professor at the West Virginia University School of Medicine.

Reviews

"It changed my life. No kidding. Dr. Helgoe's book opened the door to discovery that has helped free me be myself." - Sophia Dembling, author of The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

"Like a modern-day Thoreau, psychologist Laurie Helgoe leads us to a tranquil Walden Pond within our soul, and shows us the blessings of solitude we can find there." - Stephen Bertman, author of The Eight Pillars of Greek Wisdom

"I love Laurie Helgoe's book. I just wish I'd had it when I was growing up; it would have reduced the number of decades it took me to treasure my own introversion. Now as I read each page I'm saying "Yes!"" - Josephine Humphreys, novelist and winner of the American Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature

"Extroverts have to read this remarkable book too. It's not just that we'll better understand the other 50 percent of the population but that they have so much to teach us. The party always ends, after all. Being alone is unavoidable. Helgoe and the introverts among us know a secret: It's after all the music and dancing stops that we often become our most graceful selves." - Ethan Watters, author of Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of the American Psyche

"Laurie Helgoe's Introvert Power is The Bhagavad Gita for introverts....Laurie fans the embers of wisdom in each of us to honor yearnings that serve as both compass and anchor. I'm now giving myself permission to get a lock for my office door and replace my reading chair with something that would delight my younger self. I owe it to her." - Mary Hershey, author for children & young adults, co-creater of Shrinking Violets, Marketing for Introverts

""Most Americans, whether introverted or extroverted, have learned to look like extroverts," writes psychologist (and introvert) Heilgoe in this well-written and well-reasoned analysis that challenges the perception of introverts as a silent, problematic minority... Readers will find much insight, as well as a comforting sense of being understood and validated." - Publishers Weekly, STARRED review