Chapter 1: Introduction
PART 1: IN THE BEGINNING
Chapter 2: Before the Alienation
Chapter 3: If I Knew Then What I Know Now
PART 2: STOLEN HEARTS, STOLEN MINDS
Chapter 4: Alienation in the Making
Chapter 5: The Alienation Tipping Point
PART 3: A TARGETED VICTORY
Chapter 6: Coming Home
Chapter 7: Hope and Healing
PART 4: MOVING FORWARD
Chapter 8: Living with Alienation
Chapter 9: Strategies for Reconnecting with
Adult Alienated Children
Final Words
References
Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D., is a nationally recognized leader and expert
in the field of parental alienation and loyalty conflicts. She is
the author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome:
Breaking the Ties That Bind (2007) and Working with Alienated
Children and Families: A Clinical Guidebook (2012). Baker has
published numerous academic articles on the topic of parental
alienation and writes a blog for Psychology Today on the topic. She
also has an active coaching practice for targeted parents and
serves as an expert witness in custody disputes around the
country.
Paul R. Fine, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker in
practice in Englewood, NJ, in a community mental health center. He
has over 30 years’ experience providing individual, family, and
group psychotherapy to adults, teens, and children. Along with Amy
Baker, he is the co-author of a chapter in the recently released
Working with Alienated Children and Families: A Clinical Guidebook
(2012) and the forthcoming book Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex:
Protecting Your Children from Loyalty Conflicts and Alienation
(2013).
According to Baker and social worker Fine, 20 percent of divorces
are high-conflict, involving frequent visits to court, allegations
of abuse, and chronic disagreements regarding parenting schedules.
Often resulting in the alienation of one parent, the 'targeted'
person loses out on a relationship with his or her child and
suffers a great deal of pain and uncertainty. The authors collect
some of these heartbreaking stories, put them into their
psychological framework, relate them to the academic literature,
and finally, offer a last chapter on ideas for maintaining
communication. VERDICT This is an important contribution to a
rarely visited topic. While aimed at the estranged parent, there is
a scholastic curve that makes the text more appropriate for social
workers and mediators. That group would also benefit from this
text, which is a suitable purchase for academic libraries.
*Library Journal*
Poignant and heartbreaking, these stories shine a much needed light
on the sometimes healing but always tragic journey of targeted
parents. This book will help readers, like me, who are dealing with
the pain of parental alienation to know that others have traveled
this path and have survived. This gives me the strength to forge
ahead in my personal journey of hope and healing, and bring others
along with me and my foundation Stand Up for Gus.
*Jason Patric, actor and targeted father*
Surviving Parental Alienation: A Journey of Hope and Healing, has
given a voice to the hundreds of thousands of parents and
grandparents that can only remember their children through memories
and photos from days gone by. Amy Baker and Paul Fine have given us
yet another piece to unlocking this puzzling form of emotional
child abuse. Their continuous contributions to the parental
alienation arena are priceless. On behalf of all target parents, we
say thank you. You give us strength and the hope that someday our
children will come home.
*Jill Egizii, president, Parental Alienation Awareness Organization
USA*
This powerful book evokes strong emotions such as anger, grief,
compassion, and amazement. Although the personal narratives are
from the perspective of alienated parents, we also glimpse the
inner experience of alienating parents and their children.
Thankfully, Baker and Fine are hopeful that alienated children
sometimes find their way back to the parents they shunned for many
years. The authors give wise suggestions for alienated parents to
consider as they work toward that goal.
*William Bernet, M.D., professor emeritus, Department of
Psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville,
Tennessee*
As a clinician in the field of high conflict divorce, many parents
come to me having been told that their story is the worst and most
painful case of parental alienation ever seen. In some sense they
are right because every story of parental alienation is painful and
tragic. At the same time, every story has something to teach the
rest of us about this phenomenon of parents and children being
ripped apart. In Surviving Parental Alienation: Journeys of Hope
and Healing, Baker and Fine honor these stories and in doing so,
honor the parents and children who have suffered because of
parental alienation. But Baker and Fine do more than simply provide
a place for others to tell their stories. They make meaning of the
stories. They dig into the phenomenon of parental alienation to
provide a deeper understanding of why people find and marry people
who will eventually alienate their children from them, how the
alienating parents “sell” the poisonous message to the children,
and how – sometimes when it seems least likely– the alienated
children and their lost parents find their way back to each other.
This is a moving book and a must read for parents and professionals
alike.
*S. Richard Sauber, Ph.D., ABPP, Family Forensic Psychologist and
editor of The American Journal of Family Therapy*
An important and powerful book – for parents and professionals!
Baker and Fine have combined tragic stories of children rejecting a
parent with a solid analysis of the often-hidden behaviors that
lead to such alienation. But most of all, they have included
stories of hope and reconciliation (equally including fathers and
mothers who have been targets of blame), with effective strategies
for parents who want to reach out to their alienated children.
It would be hard to believe some of these stories (both of loss and
of hope) if I hadn’t known such similar stories first hand
experienced by some of my clients in family court. This book helps
show the importance of understanding alienating behaviors and,
without focusing on blame, but rather what to do now with many
excellent suggestions.
With personality disorders apparently increasing in society, we
will (and already are) seeing more cases of alienated children.
This is a problem that is not going away by ignoring it and leaving
parents to cope on their own.
*Bill Eddy, family lawyer, family therapist, and co-author of
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder*
Amy Baker is one of the guiding lights in the field of
understanding parental alienation. She has probably done more to
bring the topic to public awareness than any other professional. In
this new and important book, Baker and Paul Fine write with
compassion and wisdom about the struggles of parents who are
dealing with the trauma of parental alienation. More importantly,
they provide concrete actions that parents can take to improve
their situation and to heal themselves. I highly recommend this
book.
*Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., author of When Parents Hurt: Compassionate
Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Get Along*
Surviving Parental Alienation is a work that will help reduce the
emotional isolation that an alienated parent feels. The authors
give the alienated parent hope and reason for not giving up and
walking away from the children they love dearly.
*Douglas Darnall Ph.D., author of Beyond Divorce Casualtitesand
Divorce Causalties*
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