Table of Contents
- A Mother's Essay
- Message from the Author
- Why did I write this book?
- Why should you read this book?
- Who should read this book?
- Using This Book
- When should it be read?
- Is it about both people and animals?
- How is this book organized?
- What are the "Communication Forms"?
- A Close Look at Communication
- What is the purpose of Chapter 18?
- How can this book be adapted for young children or adults who
can neither read nor comprehend the text?
- What can I do for a child or an adult who does not read with
comprehension, or who seems not to understand pictures or
- Special Note to Parents and Significant Others
- Important Information For The Reader
- What should I read first?
- What are the Communication Forms?
- Chapter 1: Illness and Injury
- Why do people get sick?
- Is Asperger's an illness?
- How do I know if I am sick?
- How do I know if I am injured?
- What should I do when I am sick or injured?
- What is an emergency?
- What is a difficult situation?
- Why should I practice the plan when an emergency is not really
- Chapter 2: Recuperating and Healing
- What helps people recuperate and heal?
- What may being sick teach us?
- What does being injured teach us?
- Do people and animals usually recuperate and heal after being
sick or injured?
- After recuperating, are people the same as they were before
they were sick or injured?
- What else may we learn from being sick?
- Does everyone recuperate and heal, all of the time?
- How does a person who is sick or injured know if he or she is
going to recuperate, or if he or she is going to die because of the
illness or injury?
- Is the person or animal going to recuperate, or going to die
from the illness or injury?
- Chapter 3: Death and Dying: Who, What, When, Where, and
- What is death and dying?
- What is a lifespan?
- When do people and animals die?
- What is life expectancy?
- How do people or animals die?
- What does it mean when someone dies after being sick or
- What does it mean when someone has died suddenly?
- What does it mean when someone has died of old age?
- Do all old people and old animals die?
- Where do people die?
- Where do animals die?
- Chapter 4: When Someone Is Dying
- Who takes care of people when they are dying?
- What happens to the body of the person or animal in the dying
- Why do people visit a person who may be dying?
- What if a person feels uncomfortable about visiting someone who
- What may happen during a visit to a person who is dying?
- What might it be like if the person is in a hospital?
- What if the person who is dying tries to talk?
- What if the person who is dying cannot talk?
- What if the person who is dying does not want any
- How do people react when someone they know is dying?
- What does it mean when people say it is time to "let him (her)
- Chapter 5: Communication
- What is communication?
- Why is communication important?
- What does it mean to communicate "before it is too late"?
- What are some examples of the things that people may want to
communicate before someone dies?
- How do people communicate effectively?
- What is a miscommunication?
- What should be done in cases of miscommunication?
- Why is understanding each other so important?
- "Understanding" Goes Two Ways: How does someone know that he or
she has something important to communicate?
- The First Category: How does someone know that he or she should
communicate to express the need for a change?
- What is "help"?
- The Second Category: How does someone know when he or she
should communicate pleasure and gratitude?
- Why is it important to communicate gratitude when having
positive feelings and experiences?
- Whom should I thank?
- The Third Category: How does someone know when he or she should
communicate to share ideas, thoughts, or feelings?
- What are the most common methods of communication?
- What is other important information about communication?
- If there is something that a person didn't communicate to
someone who died, is it too late now?
- Chapter 6: What Happens to the Person Who Dies
- What does it mean that death is a "mystery"?
- What happens to the person after he or she dies?
- What do "belief" and "to believe in something" mean?
- What are some beliefs about what happens to the person after
- Most people agree on one thing
- Chapter 7: Putting Pets To Sleep
- What does it mean when a pet has to be "put to sleep"?
- Do doctors put people "to sleep" in the same way as
veterinarians put animals "to sleep"?
- Chapter 8: Rituals and Traditions
- What rituals and traditions are practiced after someone has
- What is a "wake" or a "viewing"?
- What is a closed casket, and an open casket?
- What is a funeral service?
- What is a graveside service?
- What is a memorial service?
- What is a "celebration of life" for someone who has died?
- What happens when people come to a family member's home after a
- Chapter 9: Taking Care of the Physical Body
- What happens to the body after dying?
- What is a shroud?
- What does it mean for the body to be buried?
- What is a cemetery?
- What are tombs, crypts, and mausoleums?
- What does it mean to be "buried at sea"?
- What does it mean for the body to be cremated?
- What happens to the cremains?
- What does it mean for the body to be donated to science?
- Does being cremated, buried, kept in a mausoleum, or being
donated to science, hurt the person who has died?
- Who decides what to do with the body?
- Chapter 10: What People Say and Do
- What do people say after someone has died?
- What should I say if someone tries to say "comforting words" to
- What if someone tries to touch, hug, or kiss me at this
- Chapter 11: Taking Care of the Soul: More Rituals and
- Why do people visit the grave, shrine, or keep the cremains of
the person who has died?
- Why do people sometimes do special things to remember the
person who has died?
- Does everyone have to participate in a special ritual for
someone who has died?
- If I want to create a special ritual for a person or animal who
has died, what might I do?
- When should I perform a ritual for a person or animal who has
- Chapter 12: Continuing a Relationship
- What does "continuing a relationship" mean?
- Can people continue a relationship with someone who has
- What does it mean to be "close" to a person or animal?
- "Were you close to him (or her)?"
- How can people have a relationship with someone who has
- Chapter 13: People's Reactions after Someone Dies
- How do people react when they learn that a person they know has
- Will things change after someone dies?
- How do living people react to a death, later on? What is
- Does everyone grieve in the same way after someone dies?
- What are the most frequent reactions while grieving?
- What are common reactions that people have while grieving?
- Difficulty Thinking
- Physical Distress
- What should a person do when a "close person" has died?
- What if I want to be alone?
- What does "being safe" mean?
- How long will the grieving process last?
- Why do people say that grieving "comes in waves"?
- Why do people say that grieving is "like a roller
- What are some activities that may help people through their
- What if I am angry at the person or animal who has died?
- What about school, work, and other responsibilities and
- Do feelings stay the same or do they change?
- Do people always feel strong emotions after someone has
- What is the difference between feeling emotions and expressing
- The Question: "How do you feel?"
- Why do some people not cry after someone dies?
- What does "apathy" or "apathetic" mean?
- What does "acceptance" mean?
- What does it mean to make "adjustments"?
- Chapter 14: More Names for Emotions
- Why learn the names of different emotions?
- What are the names of general categories of emotions?
- Happiness: What are more words that describe degrees of
- Fear: What are more words that describe degrees of fear?
- Anger: What are more words that describe degrees of anger?
- Sadness: What are words that describe degrees of sadness?
- Surprise: What are words that describe degrees of
- Interest: What are words that describe degrees of
- How can a person learn more about feelings and emotions?
- Chapter 15: What Does it Mean If Someone Says
- What does it mean if someone says, "I want to die" or "I want
to kill myself" or "Why don't you just kill me?"
- How do these statements become a routine?
- How can it be helpful to know if I have a routine of saying
- What does it mean if someone is depressed, and says "I want to
die" or "I want to kill myself," or if he or she is thinking of
ways to die?
- Why should a person get help if he or she is depressed?
- Chapter 16: What People May Learn About Life When Facing
- What does it mean to "face death"?
- What are some of the things people may think about when they
- Appreciation and Gratitude
- The Combination of Honesty, Respect, and Kindness
- What are some suggestions about how to live a good life?
- What does it mean when people say to "do your best"?
- Does "doing your best" mean having to be perfect?
- What does it mean to "learn from your mistakes"?
- What is the Seven-Step Plan to follow when a person discovers a
- What does it mean to "keep a positive attitude"?
- Does "keeping a positive attitude" mean being happy all the
- Life is "Ups and Downs"
- What does it mean to "live life to the fullest"?
- What does it mean that "everyone is here for a purpose"?
- What does it mean to "live one day at a time"?
- What is "The Golden Rule"?
- Why is it called "The Golden Rule"?
- What does it mean to "make the world a better place"?
- What does "a better place" mean?
- Suggestions to improve physical health
- Suggestions to improve safety and security
- Suggestions to improve emotional experience
- Suggestions to strengthen mental development
- Suggestions to improve spiritual awareness
- Suggestions to improve the environment
- What does "independent" mean?
- What does "interdependent" mean?
- Chapter 17: Being Inspired: Role Models and Mentors
- What does it mean to "be inspired"?
- Why is it important to develop skills, talents, and
- Reason #1: How does developing skills, talents, and interests
add pleasure and enjoyment to a person's life?
- Reason #2: How may developing skills, talents, and interests
lead to new positive experiences?
- Reason #3: How may developing skills, talents, and interests
lead people to a job?
- Reason #4: How may using skills, talents, or interests make the
world a better place?
- What are positive role models?
- Can I choose a positive role model?
- How do people find a positive role model?
- What is a mentor?
- Chapter 18: Quotes
- Chapter 19: Just for Fun: Idioms
- What are some idioms and expressions using the word "dead" that
do not literally mean it?
- Chapter 20: Resources for More Information
- Primarily for Adults
- For Both Children and Adults
- A Prose-Poem
- The One True Freedom
- The Illustrator
- The Author
About the Author
Catherine Faherty works with children and adults with autism
through the well-renowned TEACCH program in North Carolina. She is
also a parent consultant and child therapist; consults to school
programs; trains teachers and other professionals locally,
nationally, and internationally; and runs social groups for
children and adults with autism. She has written manuals used in
TEACCH trainings, developed training models, and, in addition to
this new title, has written a workbook for children with autism and
their parents and teachers, titled Asperger's: What Does It Mean
To Me? Catherine Faherty resides in Asheville, North Carolina.
In this book, you will find a comprehensive treatment of death
focusing on things most likely to concern those with ASD presented
in the clear, straightforward, and concrete manner that is most
likely to help those on the spectrum, as well as the professionals,
family members, or friends that are concerned about them. Readers
of this book will learn a lot about death, themselves, and how to
help people with ASD to better understand and cope with it. After
reading this book, my admiration for the author, Catherine Faherty,
has continued to grow, along with my appreciation for her courage
and conviction in making this available for all of us who care
about helping people with ASD to deal with this issue and succeed
in understanding this still confusing and anxiety-provoking aspect
of our everyday lives."-Gary Mesibov
Professor & Director
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill