Wired for Love offers couples principles from attachment theory and cognitive neuroscience to help them to please and soothe their partners, how to quickly resolve common pitfalls and conflicts, and easy ways to increase feelings of comfort and security.
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of the psychobiological approach to couples therapy. He is assistant clinical professor in the family medicine department at the University of California, Los Angeles and is on the adjunct faculty of the masters psychology program at Antioch University in Santa Barbara, the masters psychology program at the California Lutheran University of Thousand Oaks, and the doctoral pre- and perinatal psychology program at Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He teaches and supervises psychology students at Kaiser Permanente in Woodland Hills and is the creator of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy, or PACT. He is coauthor of Love and War in Intimate Relationships.
"This book is grounded in the latest brain science, as well as
being wonderfully friendly, encouraging, and practical. It shows
readers how to stay out of dead-end conflicts and instead light up
the neural circuits of empathy, skillful communication, and love. A
--Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha's Brain
"I really enjoyed this book and learned a lot from it that I can
use as a therapist. Stan Tatkin is a great innovator. This book is
a must for every couples' therapist's library."
--John Gottman, author of The Science of Trust
"If you feel lost, confused or alone in your relationship, get
this book right now. You will finally make sense out of chaos and
pain. This is your map to go from frustration and insecurity to
realize the potential of why you initially got together. Stan
Tatkin's insightful book will teach you to work as a team to make
your relationship journey safe, engaging, and deeply
--Peter Pearson, PhD, couples therapy specialist and cofounder of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, CA
"Stan Tatkin shows how our couple relationships would look if we
took seriously what attachment theory and neuroscience research has
--Dan Wile, author of After the Honeymoon
"Wired for Love challenges partners to experience their
relationship in a totally new way. Partners will learn how to
engage positively as a couple to help each other feel safe and
secure by following the relationship exercises suggested in this
exciting new book. In clear, concise language, Tatkin describes the
ways that partners can understand and become experts on one
another. He suggests building a "couple bubble" wherein each
partner is the most important person in the other's life, the one
individual on whom the partner can always count."
--Marion F. Solomon, director of clinical training at Lifespan Learning Institute and author of Narcissism and Intimacy, Lean on Me, and other books
"Read this book to discover a multitude of new ways to enliven
your relationship and end needless conflicts. Stan Tatkin is one of
the most innovative thinkers in the couples relationship world
today. It's impossible to read this book without learning new
patterns to enhance your love."
--Ellyn Bader, PhD, cocreator of the developmental model of couples therapy, codirector of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, CA, and author of Tell Me No Lies and In Quest of the Mythical Mate
"Reading Stan Tatkin's book makes you want to be in therapy with
him. With intense and fearless clarity, he takes you into the
trenches of the combative human brain and shows you how to make
love, not war."
--Esther Perel, LMFT, author of Mating in Captivity